When Stalking Is Part of a Larger Pattern: Awareness, Safety, and Why This Month Matters
By: Haley Gray
January marks National Stalking Awareness Month (NSAM) - a time dedicated to recognizing stalking for what it is: a serious, dangerous, and often misunderstood crime. Now in its 22nd year, NSAM is a national call to action to improve awareness, support victims, and hold offenders accountable - not just this month, but all year long.
Organizations like the Stalking Prevention Awareness and Resource Center (SPARC) encourage us to look more closely at behaviors that are often minimized, excused, or misunderstood - and to better understand the very real risks stalking poses to victims’ safety and wellbeing.
What Stalking Is and Why the Definition Matters
Stalking is a pattern of behavior directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to fear for their safety, the safety of others, or to experience substantial emotional distress.
That word - pattern - is critical. Stalking is not defined by a single incident. It is defined by repeated behaviors that, over time, create fear, instability, and loss of autonomy. Because stalking often escalates gradually, victims may struggle to name what’s happening, especially when the behavior is normalized or framed as care.
Stalking Is a Crime and the Law Recognizes Its Patterns
Since the first stalking statute was passed in 1990, some version of the crime now exists in all 50 states, the Federal Government, and many Tribal Codes.
Stalking is a crime that can be charged on its own. However, stalkers are often also charged with other offenses tied to their course of conduct, including harassment, domestic violence, sexual offenses, protection order violations, threats, trespassing, computer crimes, and witness intimidation.
Charging stalking in addition to related offenses is important because it allows courts to see the full scope of coercive control, including both subtle and overt behaviors that might otherwise be minimized or overlooked. This pattern-based approach is also critical when victim advocates or civil attorneys seek protection orders, where documenting repeated stalking behaviors can be essential to ensuring an order is granted.
Common Stalking Behaviors
Stalking rarely looks the same from one situation to the next. Stalkers use a wide range of tactics, and those behaviors often shift, layer, or intensify over time. What may start as unwanted contact can escalate into surveillance, intimidation, or threats, making it difficult for victims to predict what will happen next.
Common stalking behaviors can include, but are not limited to:
unwanted contact, such as repeated phone calls, texts, emails, or social media messages
unwanted gifts or letters
showing up unexpectedly or approaching a victim, their family, friends, or workplace
monitoring or surveillance, both in person and online
misuse of technology to track, intimidate, or control
property damage
direct or implied threats
These behaviors are often minimized when viewed individually - especially when they’re framed as concern, coincidence, or persistence. But intent matters far less than impact. If someone feels scared, watched, or unsafe, that fear itself is a signal that something is wrong.
For many victims, stalking behaviors don’t appear all at once. They accumulate gradually, blurring boundaries and normalizing intrusion, until daily life begins to revolve around avoiding contact, managing fear, or staying one step ahead. That slow build can make it harder to recognize the danger as it’s unfolding.
No matter how the behaviors present themselves, a victim’s fear is valid. Fear is a signal and when it’s present, documentation becomes critical. Writing things down, saving messages, and tracking patterns can help clarify what’s happening and preserve important information for safety planning or future legal options.
The Stalking Prevention Awareness and Resource Center (SPARC) offers detailed guidance on recognizing stalking patterns and documenting behaviors, and their resources are an invaluable place to start for anyone seeking clarity or support.
Who Is Affected by Stalking
Stalking is far more common than many people realize, and it affects people across all backgrounds, ages, and communities.
1 in 3 women and 1 in 6 men will experience stalking at some point in their lives
Approximately 13.5 million people are stalked each year
1 in 3 stalkers have stalked before, indicating repeat behavior
1 in 5 stalkers use weapons to threaten or harm their victims
72% of stalking victims are threatened with physical harm
11% of victims have been stalked for 5 years or longer
LGBTQ+ individuals experience stalking at higher rates than heterosexual and cisgender individuals
Taken together, these numbers make one thing clear: stalking is widespread, persistent, and dangerous - and, just like domestic violence, it can happen to anyone.
Stalking and Domestic Violence Are Closely Connected
One of the most common misconceptions about stalking is that it only begins after a relationship ends. In reality, many people are stalked while they are still in a relationship - often without realizing that what they are experiencing has a name.
Stalking can occur:
during a relationship (21%)
after a relationship ends (43%)
during and after a relationship (36%)
This overlap is one of the reasons stalking is so dangerous in intimate partner contexts. Research consistently shows that intimate partner stalkers pose some of the greatest risks to victims, particularly during periods of separation or attempted independence. In fact, 85% of attempted and 76% of completed intimate partner femicides were preceded by stalking in the year prior.
Stalking within relationships is not about reassurance or attachment. It is about power, access, and control - and it must be recognized and treated as the serious crime it is.
Stalking and Technology: How Control Extends Beyond Physical Space
Stalking doesn’t stop at physical proximity. For many victims, it follows them everywhere - into their phones, their inboxes, their social media accounts, and their most private spaces. Technology has made it easier for offenders to monitor, contact, intimidate, isolate, and frighten their victims, even when they are not physically present.
Research shows that 80% of stalking victims report being stalked through technology. For younger victims, the risks can be especially invasive. Among those ages 18–24, 16% report that a stalker shared - or threatened to share - nude, semi-nude, or sexually explicit photos or videos, using fear and humiliation as tools of control.
Survivors commonly report technology-facilitated stalking behaviors such as:
66% experiencing unwanted phone calls, voicemails, or text messages
55% receiving unwanted emails or social media messages
32% having their activities monitored through social media
29% facing threats to post or the actual posting of personal or intimate information
22% being spied on or monitored using technology
14% having their location tracked through an app or device
These behaviors can make it feel impossible to disconnect or find relief. When technology is used as part of a broader pattern of stalking, it creates a sense of constant surveillance and unpredictability - leaving victims feeling exposed, watched, and unsafe both online and offline.
The Impact on Victims Is Profound
Stalking doesn’t just interrupt someone’s life - it reshapes it. Over time, the constant intrusion, uncertainty, and fear can affect how a person moves through the world, how safe they feel in their own body, and how they relate to others.
Survivors report:
1 in 7 being forced to move in an attempt to escape their stalker
46% living in constant fear, never knowing what might happen next
29% worrying that the stalking will never stop
92% experiencing psychological impacts, including anxiety, depression, insomnia, and social withdrawal
These impacts accumulate. They show up in disrupted routines, strained relationships, hypervigilance, and exhaustion. They are not signs of weakness or overreaction. They are normal responses to ongoing fear, loss of control, and prolonged instability.
Stalking takes a massive toll and that toll deserves to be recognized and taken seriously.
Remembering Peggy Klinke and Why National Stalking Awareness Month Exists
National Stalking Awareness Month exists because of Peggy Klinke. Peggy was known by her family as someone with a bright, magnetic presence - someone who “sparkled” and drew people in with her warmth, determination, and energy. She was intelligent, ambitious, and deeply loved, with dreams of becoming a physician and a life shaped by health, movement, and connection.
That sparkle began to fade as Peggy endured years of stalking by her boyfriend. What started as unsettling and controlling behavior escalated into relentless surveillance, threats, intimidation, and isolation. Even after Peggy ended the relationship, the stalking intensified. She changed her routines, documented incidents, sought help from law enforcement, pursued legal protection, and even moved states. Still, the pattern of harm continued, largely unrecognized for what it was: stalking as a serious and dangerous crime.
On January 18, 2003, Peggy was murdered by her stalker. In the aftermath of her preventable death, her sister, Debbie Riddle, refused to allow Peggy’s story to be reduced to a single tragic moment. Debbie understood that Peggy’s murder did not begin that day - it was the result of a prolonged course of stalking that had been minimized, misunderstood, and inadequately addressed.
One year later, Debbie worked alongside advocates, lawmakers, and national victim organizations to launch the first National Stalking Awareness Month. The goal was clear: to ensure that stalking is recognized as a serious crime, that victims are believed, and that patterns of behavior are taken seriously before they escalate to violence. More than two decades later, NSAM continues in Peggy’s name, saving lives through education, awareness, and early intervention.
Each January 18, communities are also invited to “Sparkle Against Stalking” - a tribute to Peggy’s spirit and a reminder of what stalking takes from victims over time. Peggy’s legacy lives on not only in awareness campaigns, but in the countless survivors who have been protected because someone recognized the pattern sooner, listened more closely, and took stalking seriously.
Going Forward: What Awareness Allows Us to Do
Awareness isn’t passive - it’s often the first step toward change, both for yourself and for others.
One of the most important things people can do is share accurate information. Stalking is often minimized or misunderstood, and many people don’t realize how common or dangerous it is. Sharing facts, resources, and trusted education helps counter harmful myths and can help someone recognize behaviors they haven’t been able to name yet.
Awareness also makes it easier to recognize patterns - in your own life or in the lives of people you care about. Stalking is defined by repetition, escalation, and impact. Paying attention to recurring behaviors, changes over time, and how those behaviors make someone feel can be critical. If something feels unsettling or controlling, it deserves attention.
If stalking is occurring, one of the most important steps is documentation. Documenting behaviors helps establish patterns that may not be obvious day to day but become clear over time. This can include saving messages, logging unwanted contact, noting dates, times, and locations, and keeping records of any interactions with law enforcement or the courts. Documentation can be essential for safety planning, protection orders, and criminal cases.
Knowing where to find reliable, expert guidance also matters. The Stalking Prevention Awareness and Resource Center (SPARC) is the national authority on stalking. Their website offers in-depth education, documentation tools, and resources for victims, advocates, and professionals. We are deeply grateful to SPARC for making this information publicly available so it can be shared widely and used to protect lives. Learn more at stalkingawareness.org.
Why This Month Matters
Stalking is criminal, traumatic, and dangerous - and too often it is minimized, misunderstood, or overlooked until it escalates. National Stalking Awareness Month exists to change that.
This month is about recognizing patterns earlier, believing victims, and understanding that stalking - like domestic violence - can happen to anyone. It is about ensuring that people have the language, information, and support they need before harm escalates further.
The Gabby Petito Foundation exists to help people trust their instincts, recognize unhealthy and controlling behaviors, and access support when they need it. By continuing to talk openly about stalking, we honor Peggy Klinke’s legacy and help ensure that fewer people are left navigating fear alone.
Awareness is protection. And continuing this conversation - this month and every month - can save lives.
