How to Document Harassment or Unwanted Contact
When someone is experiencing harassment, stalking, or unwanted contact, one of the most powerful tools they can have is documentation.
Keeping records helps bring clarity to patterns that may feel confusing in the moment. It can also be critical if someone needs legal protection, workplace support, or help from law enforcement later.
Even if you’re not sure what you’re experiencing, documenting what’s happening can give you back a sense of control.
Why Documentation Matters
Unwanted contact often happens in ways that are easy to dismiss when taken one at a time. A message here, a call there, an unexpected appearance — each moment may feel explainable on its own.
But when these moments are written down, patterns emerge. Documentation turns scattered experiences into a clear record of what is actually happening over time.
That record can support:
safety planning
protective orders
police reports
workplace or school interventions
conversations with advocates
Even if you never need to use it, having it can bring peace of mind.
What to Keep Track Of
You don’t need special tools to start documenting. What matters most is consistency.
Try to record:
the date and time of each contact
how it happened (text, call, email, social media, in person)
what was said or done
how it made you feel
whether you had asked for the contact to stop
Screenshots, call logs, emails, voicemails, and messages should be saved whenever possible.
Why Your Feelings Matter in Documentation
How something made you feel is not irrelevant — it’s part of the impact. Fear, anxiety, confusion, or disruption to daily life all matter when patterns are evaluated.
Stalking and harassment are defined by their effect on the person experiencing them, not just by what the other person claims they meant.
For more on how patterns form, this overview of the cycle of abuse can be helpful.
Technology Makes Documentation Easier — and More Important
Many people now experience harassment through phones and social platforms. Saving digital evidence is particularly important because messages and accounts can be deleted.
If someone is using technology to monitor, track, or pressure you, this guide to digital abuse warning signs offers important context.
You may also find clarity in this look at location sharing, passwords, and privacy.
Where to Store Your Records
If you’re concerned about someone accessing your phone or accounts, consider storing copies in a secure location:
an email account they don’t know about
a cloud folder
a trusted friend’s device
a printed folder
Keeping backups ensures you don’t lose important information.
How Documentation Supports Safety Planning
Documentation and safety planning go hand in hand. Knowing what’s happening helps you decide what support you may need and what steps feel right for you.
You can find guidance on creating a safety plan here.
You don’t have to be in immediate danger to think about your safety. Many people wait until they’re sure something is “bad enough” before documenting it. But starting early can give you clarity and options later.
Keeping a record is not an accusation. It’s a way of taking care of yourself.
Your Experience Deserves to Be Taken Seriously
Harassment and unwanted contact can be deeply unsettling, even when nothing dramatic has happened yet.
The Gabby Petito Foundation is here to help people recognize patterns, trust themselves, and access support without judgment. Documentation is one way to reclaim a sense of stability when things feel uncertain.
