Digital Safety & Warning Signs of Digital Abuse Every Young Adult Should Know
Young adults today live in a world where relationships unfold across text messages, social media, apps, and shared locations. Technology connects us, but it can also create new pathways for control, manipulation, and harm.
Digital abuse is one of the fastest-growing forms of relationship violence, and many young people don’t recognize the warning signs until the behavior becomes deeply ingrained or escalates into something more dangerous.
Understanding what digital abuse looks like is a powerful form of prevention. Whether you’re navigating dating, friendships, travel, or early adulthood, knowing these patterns can help you stay safe and support someone who may be experiencing them.
1. What Is Digital Abuse?
Digital abuse occurs when someone uses technology to monitor, control, intimidate, isolate, or manipulate another person. It can involve phones, apps, social media, email, location sharing, passwords, AirTags or trackers, gaming platforms, or any digital communication tool.
Digital abuse is often subtle at first. What looks like concern, closeness, or “wanting to stay connected” can slowly shift into something controlling or suffocating. Young adults, especially, may mistake these early stages for normal relationship behavior.
However, technology used in the wrong way becomes a weapon, and the emotional impact is just as real as in-person abuse.
2. Warning Signs of Digital Abuse That Are Easy to Miss
Some signs of digital abuse are obvious, but many start quietly. Pay attention to patterns like:
They want access to your phone, passwords, or private accounts.
This may be framed as “trust,” but no one is entitled to your login information — not a partner, not a friend.
They insist you keep location sharing turned on.
Location sharing can be helpful for travel or safety, but it should always be mutual, optional, and time-limited. When one person demands access or becomes upset when you turn it off, that’s a red flag.
They monitor who you follow, message, like, or interact with online.
Healthy relationships respect boundaries. Surveillance disguised as “just being curious” often escalates.
They demand quick replies and become angry if you don’t respond.
Technology does not entitle anyone to 24/7 access to you.
They pressure you to send photos, videos, or personal information.
Coercion — emotional, sexual, or otherwise — is a form of abuse.
They post about you without your consent or track your online behavior.
If you feel watched, controlled, or uneasy, trust that feeling.
They threaten to harm themselves or you if you block them or pull away.
Threats, even indirect ones, are a dangerous form of manipulation.
Digital abuse is often part of a larger pattern. If something feels wrong, overwhelming, or hard to explain, you do not need to justify it. Your discomfort is a sign.
3. Why Digital Abuse Can Be So Dangerous
Digital abuse creates an invisible network of control around the victim. Some of the ways it can escalate include:
Isolation from friends, family, and support systems
Constant monitoring, leaving the victim feeling watched
Unpredictable demands, making the victim anxious and hyper-vigilant
Escalation to in-person control or violence
Manipulation of private information, including screenshots or saved messages
Tracking movements through apps or hidden devices
Emotional exhaustion, which can make it harder to seek help
Because digital abuse often happens quietly, victims may not realize the seriousness of the situation until it has already escalated.
4. How to Protect Yourself Online
These safety practices can help reduce risk and strengthen your boundaries:
Review your privacy settings.
Restrict who can see your posts, stories, and contact information. Turn off location tagging by default.
Limit location sharing.
Use it only when necessary and only with people you trust. Turn it off when it’s no longer needed.
Create strong, unique passwords.
Avoid sharing passwords with friends or partners, even if things feel safe now.
Be thoughtful about what you post.
Real-time updates can reveal your location or patterns. Post later when possible.
Use two-factor authentication.
This prevents unauthorized access even if someone knows your password.
Check your devices for unknown apps or paired devices.
AirTags, tracking apps, Bluetooth connections, or location-sharing features can be misused. If you’re unsure, ask a trusted tech-savvy friend for help.
Trust your instincts — always.
If someone’s digital behavior makes you feel uneasy, confused, or guilty, that feeling is worth paying attention to.
For more proactive steps, you can read our companion guide on online safety: Digital Safety
5. What to Do If You Think You’re Experiencing Digital Abuse
If you recognize these behaviors in your relationship or someone else’s, take these steps:
Document everything.
Screenshots, messages, and dates can help you understand the pattern.
Talk to a trusted friend or family member.
Abuse thrives in silence. You don’t have to navigate this alone.
Reach out to a domestic violence hotline or advocate.
Advocates understand the unique risks of digital abuse and can help you create a personalized safety plan.
Do not confront the person directly.
This can escalate the situation — especially if they have access to your personal information.
Consider contacting law enforcement if you feel in danger.
Digital abuse can overlap with harassment, stalking, or threats, all of which have legal consequences.
6. Supporting Someone Who May Be Experiencing Digital Abuse
If someone you care about seems overwhelmed, monitored, or isolated, you can help in meaningful ways:
Approach them gently and without judgment.
Ask open-ended questions like: “Are you feeling pressure or control in your relationship?”
Offer emotional support without pushing them to act before they’re ready.
Share resources, hotlines, or Foundation guides.
Remind them they’re not alone, and what they’re experiencing is not their fault.
Sometimes the first step toward safety is simply being believed.
Digital Safety Is Relationship Safety
Digital spaces are deeply woven into modern relationships, friendships, and daily life. Recognizing the signs of digital abuse is a powerful form of prevention and a step toward protecting yourself or someone you love.
If you feel uneasy, overwhelmed, or unsure about someone’s digital behavior, trust your instincts. Help is available, and safety is possible.
For warning signs of relationship abuse or support resources, explore the Foundation’s Domestic Violence Resources page.
You are not alone. Your safety matters, online and offline.
